“LET HER GO!” Jason screams and fights.
“SAM!” Jason fights awake. Jason wakes in a cold sweat. Heart racing and body shaking. Jason has never felt this way. He has never been scared for Sam like this. Jason doesn’t understand what is happening with Sam. He doesn’t understand what happened to their life. He doesn’t understand his life anymore. He doesn’t understand why he dreamed Sam in danger. Jason clutches his gun close to his chest.
“Jason, Jason it’s okay! I heard you screaming about Sam. Is she okay?” Carly comes rushing in questioning. She has never seen Jason like this. He’s pale and disorientates, seeing Jason like this make Carly realize she made the right choice in forcing Jason to stay at the mansion, he needs to be with family right now. And, while she considers them to be family, she doesn’t get why Jason is back at the mansion. The last time Carly saw Jason he was off to find and claim his family. Carly knows Jason enough to know that Jason wouldn’t come home to sleep if Sam and Danny were out there in trouble. Jason wouldn’t rest until he was with them.
“Yes, I mean no. I don’t know honestly.” Jason takes in the physical effect of the dream he just had. He gets out the bed and moves towards the closest, pulls a shirt over his sweaty body and steps towards the open window. Jason blocks out Carly noise and gazes out the window. He thinks over everything that has happened in the last two days. He thinks about all the ways he failed Sam and Danny. He thinks about his final moments with Sam, he feels her wailing through the door. Jason closes his eye and tries to understand what life is supposed to be now. Nothing makes sense, and this makes Jason’s head pound. Nothing feels right, and Jason can’t trust his instinct. Zoned out Jason’s whole body clinches up.
“They have a baby girl?” Jason asks out of nowhere. Out of everything that has emerged in the last two days, the one thing that sticks out to Jason the most is Sam’s baby girl. The news of Sam’s baby girl brings joy and pain to Jason. The thoughts of Scout make Jason’s heart race and his throat tighten. He knows what she means to Sam. He feels what she was supposed to mean to them both. He knows Sam has always wanted a baby girl since losing Lila. He knows she has always wanted a baby girl with Jason since baby Lila. He wonders how she felt thinking she was getting her greatest wish. He thinks about how she may feel now, knowing Jason didn’t father Scout. These thoughts break Jason to his core.
“Yes, Emily Scout!” Carly chokes back tears. She looks over at Jason and witnesses him in a moment. She witnesses him take it all in again, she observes him fight back the tears. She witnesses Jason’s grief firsthand. Carly gets up and moves towards Jason trying to pull him into an embrace, but before she can, Jason sidesteps her and starts pacing the room. Jason grief compounds the whole place, suffocating Carly in the moment. Carly can’t bare it and starts grilling Jason for information again.
“Jas, what is going on? What happened last night?” Carly whispers. Carly can see what Baby Scout is doing to Jason, and it cripples her. Carly can’t handle seeing Jason in this much pain. She tries to get Jason back focused on the important stuff.
“Jason, did you hear me? Jason, are you listening? Jason!” Carly screams, knocking Jason out of his mind and back to reality. Everything happening to Jason is scaring Carly. Jason is usually in control, and she can tell that he is silently suffering. She can see he is spiraling out. His body is tense, and every time she talks to him, he seems miles and miles away.
“Yes, Carly I’m here!” Jason answers without breaking his gaze on the sky. Jason, in fact, was not mentally there. Jason was thinking of Sam. Jason is always thinking of Sam.
“Are you sure? Did you hear anything I just said?” Carly demands. Carly doesn’t like being ignored. And she knows Jason is not listening to her. Jason is suffering, and it is clear as the sky is blue. She doesn’t like to see Jason suffer. Carly is tortured seeing Jason like this. She is tortured not knowing how to help him. She is tortured because she blames herself.
“Carly, stop. I have a lot going on.” Jason snaps back. Jason intent wasn’t to snap at Carly, but the pressure is too much. Everything is too much, and Jason just needs peace. He needs quiet. He needs time to process the last 48 hours and alone time is the only thing that will give Jason this.
Carly pushes herself off Jason bed and heads for the door. She doesn’t want to overwhelm Jason. She doesn’t want to drive Jason into isolation.
“No, Carly wait!” Jason states while running to stop her before she passes through the threshold.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” Jason ushers Carly back into the room and towards the bed.
Carly pouts a little before allowing Jason to lead her back towards the bed. Carly plops down on the bed and gives Jason that looks.
“I’m worried about you Jason. You don’t have nightmares. And, why are you here and not with Sam? Did you find her? Why are you sleeping with your gun? Jason, what is going on?” Carly worries. Carly is terrified. She stares at the gun sitting on the nightstand. She stares back at Jason. Carly doesn’t want to push Jason, but she doesn’t want Jason to be here either. Carly knows Jason and Sam belong together. Carly feels Jason should be with Sam and Danny. He should be enjoying family time with them. Carly knows something is wrong. She knows Jason is fighting an internal battle. It kills her not knowing how to help.
Jason doesn’t answer. Jason has fixed his eyes on a spot on the wall and zones out. Jason doesn’t know how to respond to Carly’s questions. He has the same questions but no answers. Jason has been playing these question on a loop in his head. Why isn’t he with Sam. Why isn’t he home? Why did Sam push him away? Why can’t he just be Jason?
“Jason, snap out of it. Tell me what happened. Why are you sleeping with your gun? Did you find Sam and Danny?” Carly demands. She is over being patient. She wants answers. Carly stands up, position herself right in front of Jason. She grabs his face and looks deep into his eyes. There she sees what Jason is trying to hide. Carly drops her hands and steps back. The fear she witnessed in Jason, sends shivers down her spine.
“Is everything okay, Jas!” Carly’s screams knock Jason out of his latest daydream. He takes Carly in. He takes in her reaction to him. He takes in her fear. He takes in her panic. He draws it all in with a deep breathe. He draws it all in and prepares himself to comfort Carly.
“Yes, Carly!” Jason mumbles as he stands up to be level with Carly. “They’re at the PH. Sam wanted to stay there.” Jason grasp. Just uttering those words make Jason feel fragile. He grabs Carly to balance himself but plays it off like he was pulling her into an embrace. He doesn’t want Carly to worry about him more then she already does. He doesn’t want anyone to worry or fuss over him. Jason has never wanted to feel like a burden on anyone.
Carly pulls herself out of the embrace and examines Jason mannerisms. She knows what Jason is trying to do. She won’t be deterred that easily.
“Wait, what happened? Why aren’t you with them?” Carly challenged. Carly takes control and tries to guided Jason back towards the bed, the problem is Jason isn’t going. Jason pulls away and walks towards the window. Jason doesn’t want to be managed by Carly right now. Jason doesn’t want to talk about Sam right now. Jason just wants to be alone.
“I don’t know Carly. I don’t know what’s happening, but something is not right.” Jason declares. Jason stumbles back when he uttered the words. Jason hates when nothing in his life makes sense. It makes him feel unbalanced. It makes him feel like he is falling and there is nothing he can do about it. This feeling makes Jason skin crawl. This feeling makes Jason feel like someone is in control of him.
“Well, why are you sleeping with your gun? Something happened, Jason. What is it?” Carly asks. Carly knows something else happened. She knows something spooked Jason last night. Jason doesn’t sleep with his gun unless something extremely dangerous was transpiring. Carly doesn’t know what is happening with the two Jason problem, but she can sense the danger coming.
“Someone shot at me!” Jason states while moving back towards to Carly. He knows she will freak out by the statement. Carly is tough, but she crumbles knowing Jason could get hurt. Jason sits next to her and pulls her into another embrace. Jason doesn’t want to be doing this, but this is easier than dealing with a riled-up Carly.
“What, are you okay?” Carly panics while fighting herself out of Jason an embrace. Carly freaks out and begins searching Jason body for wounds.
“Did you get hit? Who would shoot at you?” Carly grumbles looking over every piece of his body.
“Carly stop, I’m okay. I wasn’t hurt.” This is exactly what Jason was trying to avoid. Carly spiraling out of fear is more than Jason can handle right now. Jason has put Carly first in the past, but right now he needs to put his family first. And his family is Sam and Danny.
“Who shot at you?” Carly demands. Carly composes herself and demands reals answers from Jason. Carly figures if Jason is in danger, then Sonny is in danger. And, if they are in danger, her whole family is in danger. Carly is not the type of person to sit aside and do nothing when the ones she loves is in danger. And, this fire in her is what scares Jason most. Carly’s schemes never help the situation, they only ever hurt them.
“I don’t know, but I found where the shooter was standing. Whoever it was left this behind.” Jason states while pulling a button out of his nightstand. Jason plays with the button in his hand before handing it off to Carly to examine.
“It looks luxurious.” Carly states while looking the button over. Carly doesn’t care about the button. She only cares that Jason is okay. And, what Jason is going to do about it. Jason will not sit by and do nothing knowing someone is trying to kill him. Carly knows this.
“Do you think it was the guys who tried to take Sam?” Carly wants to get as much information out of Jason before he completely shuts down. She knows its coming, but she hopes Jason will let her in. She hopes Jason will ask for help instead of going at it alone.
“I don’t know, Carly! I just don’t know.” Jason growls. Jason has had it with all the question from Carly. He wants out of this house. He wants away from Carly. He wants time to make everything make sense again. Jason gears himself up for a battle with Carly, but before he can his cell phone rings. Jason picks the phone up and is happy to speak with the person on the other end. He is satisfied that he doesn’t have to answer to Carly anymore.
Jason takes the call, while Carly heads out the room. Carly could tell Jason was shutting down. And she was okay with that. Carly had her own mission to get to. Carly had her own battles she had to gear up for.
Knock Knock Knock.
Jason waits patiently wait for someone to open the door to him. The door opens, and Jason turns to find Michael.
“Mi Michael. I didn’t know you would be here.” Jason stutters as a hot flash rises to his cheeks. Jason hasn’t seen Michael since his return. Michael had been at the top of Jason must-see list since coming home, but Jason didn’t want to push himself on anyone in his life. Especially Michael. Jason knew Michael would come find him when he was ready. Looking at the man, Michael has become in his absence, takes Jason breathe away. Jason just stares in disbelief. He wants to reach out and grab Michael, he wants to hold him and tell him how proud he is of him. But, he doesn’t. He stands frozen, unsure of himself. This makes Jason shake his hands out, and he balls them into a fist.
Michael doesn’t speak. He doesn’t move, he just examines the man before him. Tears wail up in Michael’s eyes, and he goes weak. Michael falls into Jason’s arms and just cries. All it took was one look in Jason’s eyes, and Michael knew. Michael weeps into the first father he has ever had, arms. Michael feels a sense of home and acceptance he hasn’t felt for years. Michael like everyone else didn’t realize how much they missed the real Jason until they were wrapped in his love. And, Michael was being drowned in it. Jason didn’t know what to expect when coming face to face with Michael. He knew like everyone else Michael had believed the other guy, but what he got from Michael was the best homecoming thus far.
Jason and Michael stay wrapped in each other love for quite some time. Michael trying to find his words and Jason trying to live in the love. Michael’s body stutters under the overwhelming weight of his emotions. Michael weeps so hard his uncontrollable body shakes, but Jason is there to hold him steady.
“Jason.” Michael crumbles. Michael has so much to say, so much he wants to express to Jason, but Jason names is all that can escape his lungs. Michael remembers all the times he has been right there in Jason’s arms, in Jason’s love. Michael squeezes Jason with all his might. Michael is at home in Jason’s arms.
“Let me see you.” Jason pushing Michael away, and wipe away tears from both Michael and his face. Both men are overwhelmed, but Jason is overjoyed also. Michael has had many men claim to be his father, but in Jason’s mind, he will always be Michael true father. A sentiment Michael also carries.
“Oh man, look at you.” Jason pushes Michael back a little to really take him in. Jason looks him up and down, squeezes his arms, rubs his head and really looks him in the eyes. Jason is in utter awe of Michael. Jason lowers his head, takes a step back and fights the flow of tears fighting their way to the surface. He knows nothing of Michael’s life now, yet he is still beaming with pride for the man he has become.
“Look at you, you’re here. I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry for bel-.”Michael chokes.
“Don’t. You don’t have to talk about that. Or apologize. Ok, Buddy! Come here.” Jason pulls Michael back into another embrace. Jason could see Michael was struggling and it hurt Jason more to see Michael like this than hear about him believing the other guy was him. Jason didn’t need clarification from Michael. Michael recognition and love were enough for Jason.
“You, knowing it’s me, is enough. We don’t have to talk about the other stuff.” Jason adds more pressure to his hug.
“I should have come seen you sooner but,”
Jason cuts Michael off again.
“You would have come when you were ready, it okay.” Jason soothes. Jason didn’t want Michael to feel burdened because of him. Jason didn’t want anyone in his life to feel like they had to placate him. That was the last thing Jason wanted. They believed the other guy, and there is nothing Jason can do about that now but move forward.
Jason and Michael separate and just stare in silence for a moment.
“So, I take it you didn’t come here to see me? You must be here for Danny.” Michael knows Jason statement was true. Michael knows Jason would never push himself on Michael. So, Michael assumes Jason is here to see his son. To Michael, this is the logical explanation for Jason presence at the mansion. Jason wasn’t big on the Quartermaine family.
“Um, no I wasn’t. Monica called me over. Danny is here?” Jason shoves his hands in his pockets and waits for Michael to invite him in. Jason was nervous to see Monica, but he is now overcome with a million emotions at the thought of seeing Danny. When Jason first saw Danny, he didn’t know for certain he was his son. Now that Jason knows, he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should go in and talk or run until Sam introduces appropriately introduces them.
“Come on.” Michael guides Jason into the mansion and out to the promenade where Danny is playing with Annabelle The Second. Michael could tell that Jason was unsure of what he should do when it came to Danny. Michael witnessed firsthand what Sam and Jason went through over Danny, so he knows what Danny means to him. He knows how precious Danny is.
Before they reach Danny, Michael whispers to Jason.
“Does he know?”
Jason doesn’t respond. He gives Michael a look that makes Michael understand everything.
“Hey Danny, I want you to meet someone. “Michael crouches down to become level with Danny.
“This is my-“ Michael is interrupted.
Hey, your mommy’s friend!” Danny throws the ball to Annabelle The Second. Danny is so caught up in Annabelle he doesn’t notice the look of deep love and pain on Jason’s face or the tears that swell in Jason’s eyes. And for this Jason is grateful.
“You know my cousin Michael too?” Danny finally turns his attention to Michael and Jason.
“Yea. This is Jas… He’s my uncle.” Michael quivers. Jason look told Michael that Danny did not know that he was his father, but Michael was unsure of exactly what Danny knew about Jason or the situation. Michael stands straight up and looks to Jason for guidance.
Both men are stuck on how to proceed with Danny. They don’t know what to say, they don’t want to upset Danny or say something Sam isn’t ready for him to hear. Lucky for them Danny is a natural leader.
“Is he my uncle too?” Danny jumps up and down as Annabelle comes running back with the ball.
Jason and Michael both shuffle back and forth, both unsure of themselves. Jason attempts to muster the strength to lie to Danny, but before he can, Danny has another question for him.
“Do you want to play catch with me and Annabelle? Danny hands Jason the ball. Jason draws in a deep breathe and beams his whole heart at Danny. Jason is grateful Danny moved on from his original question. He didn’t know if he could bare to lie to his son about being his not being his father.
“I would love that!” Jason shakenly takes the ball from Danny and throws it. Danny watches Annabelle take off. Jason watches Danny.
“I want a turn throwing the ball.” Michael jogs to be closer to Danny. Annabelle comes running back with the ball in mouth and drops it before a laughing Danny and Michael. Michael picks up the ball, and fake throws it, causing Annabelle to run off for no reason, resulting in Danny laughing hysterically.
Once Michael finally throws the ball, Danny is laughing so hard it cause Michael to fill with laughter. Both boys keeled over with laughter.
Jason takes in the best scene of his life. Two of his sons together, happy and safe. Jason steps back and marvels at his boys. The boy he raised into the man he sees before him and the boy he never to got know but prays will get to see grow. Jason can’t stand being on the sidelines anymore, he rushes over to spend as much time with Danny as he can. Jason just wished Danny knew him. He wished that Danny knew he was playing with his Dad.
“She knows a lot of tricks. We can show you.” Danny jumps up and down with glee when Jason joins them.
Jason plays with Danny and Annabelle forgetting about his real reason for being there. Monica. Danny shows Jason and Michael all Annabelle’s trick before Danny is called in for lunch by Alice.
“Bye Michael, Bye Michael’s uncle.” Danny walks by giving both Jason and Michael a high five before bolting for the kitchen.
“How amazing was that?” Michael asks while he and Jason watch Danny and Annabelle run into the Mansion. Michael could see the pain behind Jason love for Danny. He feels the effect, Danny, calling him Michael’s uncle had on Jason. Michael wanted Jason to focus on the positive. Michael wanted Jason to focus on the time shared.
“Yea, it was something.” Jason wipes tears away. Playing with Danny was bittersweet. Jason loved spending time with Danny, but it pained him to know that Danny saw him as a stranger. Jason’s heart broke into millions of tiny pieces watching Danny go. Jason wanted to hear him say bye dad, not Michael’s uncle.
Jason stares at the last spot he saw Danny. He becomes so fixated on it, he doesn’t hear Michael.
“Hey, Jason, should we go find Monica now? Michael senses Jason feelings of loss and despair.
“Um no, I have to get out of here. I’m sorry Michael. Tell Monica I’ll come back.” Jason bolts for the front door. Jason is taken back by Danny acceptance of him and the ease they both share. Jason wasn’t prepared for Michael and Danny. Jason becomes so overwhelmed with his emotion his head pounds. It pounds with confusion, regret, pain, and love. It beats him to no mercy. Jason has to get away. He has to get to a place that makes sense for him.
Jason runs past Monica, he’s in so much pain he doesn’t even see her.
“Was, that Jason.” Monica inquires.
Before Michael can answer, there is a knock at the door.
The door opens.
“May I come in?” Carly bushes past Sam and lets herself in. Carly doesn’t have time to play with Sam. Jason is hurting, and in Carly’s mind, only Sam can fix that. Sam needs Jason. Jason needs Sam. It’s that simple to Carly.
“I mean does it matter what I say.” Sam shuts the door and walks towards Carly, who has made herself comfortable on the couch. Sam knows precisely why Carly is there. Jason. No one fights for Jason like Carly, and no one thinks they know what is best for Jason better than Carly.
“Is he here?” Carly whispers and looks around for any signs of Drew. Carly doesn’t dislike Drew or wish him ill harm but what she has to say to Sam doesn’t need an audience. Carly is there to push all the bullshit aside and get to the truth with Sam.
“No, Carly. He’s not here. He went to go pick up the kids. I’m alone, and I would like to keep it that way.” Sam starts walking back towards the door. She hopes that Carly will take the hint and follow her.
Carly did no such thing.
“Good, cause we need to talk alone.” Carly pat the space next to her. Carly is chipper to be alone with Sam. This past 5 years without Jason allowed Sam and Carly to become friends. And, Carly planned to use this new found friendship to understand what is really going on with Sam and make her see the error of her ways.
“Carly, I know why you’re here, and I’m not discussing this with you.” Sam goes straight into defense mode. Sam knows Carly would never understand her choice even if she could explain it to her. Carly doesn’t know about true sacrifice. Carly only knows what make her happy. Carly is the last person Sam wants to discuss this with.
“Sam, Jason is back. Your husband is back, and you would rather share your bed with a stranger.” Carly snaps. Carly figures if Sam wants to go straight there, she’ll go straight there too.
“I didn’t share my bed with a stranger last night. I slept with my kids last night. Not that I owe you an explanation. Sam slumps into the chair. She doesn’t need Carly beating her down, she is already doing that herself.
“Sam. I’m sorry.” Carly backs down. She finally she Sam for what she is. Beaten down, fragile and tired.
“You don’t understand. No one understands.” Sam whimpers.
“You’re right I don’t!” Carly wants to understand, she is trying to be sensitives to what Sam is experiencing, but Sam is working her last nerve.
“How do you know he is Jason.” Sam chokes trying to get the words out, but she manages. Sam knows she made a mistake the moment Jason pushes past her lips.
Carly is filled with blind rage at the question. Carly cuts her eyes and lowers her tone.
“Our Jason is back. Not some knock off brand, but our loving, selfless, caring, fearless Jason. And you know it Sam. You have always known, just like the rest of us that the other guy wasn’t quite right. You’ve said it many times that this Jason was different. It was because it wasn’t him. Sam, you know. You knew it when you saw him. I know you did. We all did. So make me understand why you’re not with Jason right now.” Carly passions on. Carly has so much fire in her she is howling at Sam.
Carly waits for Sam to respond, but Sam has nothing. She can’t tell the truth, and she doesn’t have the strength in her to battle Carly with her lies.
“This other guy is not Jason…. You know this in your heart Sam. Listen to your soul.” Carly calms herself seeing a defeated Sam isn’t going to fight back. Carly steadies her shaken body and draws in a deep, steady long breath.
“Sam, talk to me. No matter how I feel, I’m here for you.” Carly lowers herself on the coffee table across from Sam and grabs her hand. Sam hasn’t had any human contact other than her kids since Jason. Sam doesn’t want to be touch, Carly finds out the hard way. Sam jumps up and circles in one place.
“I have to get out of here.” Sam takes off out the door. Sam was on the verge of crumbling. She had to get away. Carly was going to push her into submission.
Jason attempted to blur the sense back into his life on his bike. When that didn’t work, he heads for the cabin. Jason rode his bike for some hours before ending up at the cabin. By the time Jason reached the cabin, it was dark out, and the sky was filled with stars. Jason doesn’t enter the cabin. Jason takes a seat on the side of his bike and gazes at the stars.
Jason whips around gun out ready to shoot.
“Whoa, Jason it’s me.”